The Behavioural Pattern Copy
There is another tool, always deriving from NLP, that we think is helpful to include in your toolbox: a “metaprogram” concerning the behavioural pattern.
Put in simple terms. Our brain receives so much information that it is impossible to process them all. Brain defends itself by creating behavioural models – practical habits.
We want to speak in particular of one of these “automatisms” called “towards / away from.”
A metaprogram predicts the direction we usually take in our choices. It is also called the “decision-making lever” due to the effectiveness of its action.
The direction “towards” indicates that we want to go towards something we desire.
The direction “away from” indicates, on the contrary, that we want to get away or avoid something.
Almost every decision we make is motivated by one of two directions. E.g. We believe it is necessary to use a tugboat for a specific manoeuvre, but the captain is doubtful. If, during our evaluation, it was evident that he is a person who tends to be anxious and worried, the ideal approach would become the “away from”:
“To avoid finding ourselves in a situation where the ship may no longer be controllable due to an increase in wind intensity, I recommend calling a tugboat. A tug would also help us avoid the risk of approaching too fast to the dock in the final stage. “
On the other hand, in the case of a confident captain, not convinced of the need for a tugboat, tending to be combative and tending to challenge, practically a “towards” subject:
We are in the classic situation where: a tug could be too much, but no tugboat too little. For sure, in the turning area, we will find a high wind intensity.
Unfortunately, neither you nor I have all the cards in hand to manoeuvre in total safety: I do not know the ship because it is the first time I’ve handled it, and you the harbour.
My advice, this time, is to take the tugboat that guarantees us the proper safety; next time, when both you and I have all the elements in hand, we will decide with full knowledge of the facts the right margin of safety. J.G.
It is clear that in the first highlighted sentence, when we move away from the risk of touching the ship moored astern, while in the second, we go towards the challenge of a complicated mooring.
If we ask the master a few questions once we arrive on the Bridge, it will be easy to understand in which direction his decisions tend. His answers will align us with his way of thinking, making us know how to propose our advice and leading him to think about the crucial aspects.
If we understand that we are facing an “away from”, we highlight what he can avoid by doing what we propose, while if we are facing a “toward”, we will exalt the benefits of the choice towards which we will be directing him.
It is pretty easy to frame people in this respect: usually, it is enough to listen to the words they use and observe their behaviour.
People “towards” will direct themselves to what they want but often underestimate the difficulties and the consequences. They love to talk about what they will do and are generally optimistic. They see things as if they have already obtained or conquered them. They are generally more demanding than “away from” people.
